What Are You Looking At?


When you look in the mirror…who are you looking at? Who’s making up your face? Are you proud of her, ashamed of her, inspired by her, disgusted by her? Who are you REALLY setting your eyes on? When you look yourSELF in the face, that is exactly what you should be looking at and paying attention to…your-SELF. I’m not talking about your eyes, your skin-tone, your hair, your weight, or any physical attribute…I’m talking about your true self. Look at what you’ve achieved, what you’ve overcome, what you’ve had to fight for to get to that chick you have your eyes glued to in the mirror. Look at the things about you that make you unique from any other woman. Look at your blessings, look at your goals, look at you. Don’t focus on your imperfections…we’re all flawed in some way, so that doesn’t make you special.

What makes you special is that you are able to see through your own flaws, physical or otherwise, and know that there is still something about you that deserves to be blessed in life. Nobody in this world has to believe in you, love you, value you, or trust you more than you need to do all those things for yourself. You can’t get down on yourself because of someone else’s actions or words. Can you see those people when you look in the mirror? Or do you only see yourSELF? Are the ones who hurt you, taunted you, disrespected you, or did you any harm standing in the mirror with you? Didn’t think so. So the next time you look in the mirror ask yourself, “What are you looking at?” p.s.– it’s ok to answer yourself too in this situation 🙂


When The Sky Falls…


One thing we all have to realize when it comes to living our lives is that, sometimes the sky is going to fall on us; the ground is going to drop from beneath us and we will have to experience our worlds being turned upside down and inside out at several points in our lives. The next thing we must realize and always remember is…it’s ok. To make any type of progression in life some things are going to have to shift from time to time, whether you plan and prepare for them to or not, whether you’re ready for them to or not. Sometimes life just takes it upon it’s own powerful self to make the necessary adjustments for you, and sometimes the very situations and changes that we think are some sort of punishment or curse…actually turn out to be the blessings that we need in order to move forward.

The problems we encounter as we move through life are not actually the important part of who we are or who we may later become. The important part is how we carry ourselves through our trials, personal storms, and everyday dilemmas; how we hold on to ourselves as men and women when we are being beaten down and “tried” by our troubles. Your attitude is critical to overcoming. You must show up for your storm wearing the face of grace, strength, survival, and the faith that your hard times are not where you intend to dwell. You must believe that you are just passing through to pick up a few things…some wisdom, some courage, some strength, some motivation. Be arrogant enough to say that this sad pathetic place you’re in, isn’t good enough for you.

Nothing that happens to us in life is put in place to curse us. Unwelcome events, people, and situations are put before us to make us work to become better versions of ourselves, and to teach us to be doers as well as just thinkers. There is always a way “over”…but what we have to remember is that most of the time we can’t get there without first going “through”.  Read this again…process it…and come back to it anytime you feel like the sky is falling.


Life Is What You Believe It Is…Or Isn’t


Life is what we visualize it to be, what we think it is, and what we say it is. If we believe that we are unlovable/unworthy/lazy/unproductive/fat/ugly/ignorant/angry…then so it is.

If we believe that we will never have the kind of life that we dream of, then it will never come to pass. What you get out of life is what you believe you can achieve, what you think you are worthy o, and of course what you work hard for and have have faith in. Experiences come and go…as do opportunities, people, and situations…but your thoughts and beliefs are always with you. That means you need to choose your thoughts the same way you choose what to wear, or what to say. You have to decide what kinds of thoughts and beliefs you want to attach to yourSELF. If you attach thoughts of being a failure to yourself, you will never be a success. If you attach the thought that everyone in life is against you, you can never attract healthy friendships and relationships. Do you get where I’m going with this?

Learn to believe in the things, people, and the lifestyle that you want to attract. Trust yourSELF to create and be your most amazing self. The power of positivity will work itself all through areas of your life. Here are some examples of affirmations to say to yourself to begin replacing some of the negative beliefs that we all sometimes have. 🙂

If You Believe/ Your Affirmation Should Be              

nothing works for me/ my life is blessed and my decisions are always right for me

I can’t focus on anything/ My inner vision is clear and unclouded

I am a failure/ my life is a success

I have no right to feel this way/ All of my emotions are valuable

I don’t know what to do/ I trust a higher power and my inner wisdom to guide me

The Transformation


I don’t know where all of you are in your lives right now, but I’m ready to share with you where I am…and just maybe some of you or even just one of you will be in this same place at this same moment on this same journey. Maybe as I maneuver my own way through this thing I’ll call “the transformation”, it will help you on your way as well. Whatever the case…I’m inviting you on this ride. 🙂

I’m standing in the middle of my life…a little lost, but with a crystal clear destination. I’m moving forward…towards personal empowerment, financial independence, emotional growth, physical well-being, and peace. I’m giving up the idea that it’s too late to become the person I should’ve been working towards becoming 10 years ago. I can’t get back those years…but I can find wisdom and all sorts of useful lessons in them. I’m ready to “do the work” I need to do in my life to feel fulfilled…that includes leaving my baggage holding all my failures…behind. I’m no longer going to use my same old excuses of being too lazy, not focused, not ready, and not having time to do the things I know I need to do, in order to get to where I’m trying to go.

I am dedicating all my energy to becoming the most amazing SELF I can possibly be.

I know there will be obstacles, peaks and valleys…and people who will not believe in me. And that’s ok. I’m not on this journey for anyone but me. 🙂

Who Is More Important?

How important are you to yourself? How important is your own happiness versus someone else’s happiness and satisfaction? Before you answer these questions you should think about some things. You should think about the kinds of people you let into your life, what kinds of friends you have and how many times you have done something that has made you unhappy or uncomfortable just to please someone else, or how many times you’ve “stuck it out” in a situation that was unrewarding and draining just because the situation or the person involved in the situation was familiar and/or an important piece of who you are.

Once you answer those questions then you should be better able to answer the first two questions and you may discover that you are not as important to yourself as you think you are and that you are constantly putting other people’s happiness before your own. Not good. I know that this gets you nowhere in life because when you use up all your energy trying to be somebody’s everything, somebody’s vision of perfection or trying to change someone to fit into your own vision of perfection–you have no energy left to do the things that would make your own life easy and enjoyable. You can’t always take on the weight of the world and then expect people to return the favor or even just appreciate your effort…that’s just not the way the world works.

When you constantly give give give, even when you have nothing left to give people expect for you to keep on giving because that is your role in THEIR lives. But in order to keep your sanity you need to give UP the idea that everyone in your life will one day get it together and realize that you have your own life, your own issues to deal with and your own dilemmas to face. What you need to start doing is making it a point to just refuse people sometimes…take time for you, even if it’s just to sit and do nothing…at least you’re sitting and doing for YOURSELF and not using all your time and energy to cater to someone else. There’s nothing wrong with being a caring person and having a big heart, but the problem is when you neglect yourself or your small children or when you abandon your own dreams and goals to help others follow through with their dreams and goals. Your not being fair to yourself. This is just something to think about.

Getting Your “Perk” Back!


Feeling sluggish, tired, run down, and having little to no “get up and go” can make for rough mornings and exhausting afternoons and evenings.  Those crucial times of the day when you need the most energy, and a clear head to carry out your everyday rituals of caring for the family, work, kids activities, so on and so on…can be almost unbearable if you feel like all your motivation has been zapped.

The most common reasons we lose the pep in our step are poor diet, lack of sufficient sleep, not exercising and of course stress. Here are a few ways to help you fight these feelings of fatigue so that you can perform at your best, and not spend your days daydreaming about your bed! 🙂

  • First, lay off the sugary carby breakfasts such as high sugared cereal, pastries, and fattening sugary coffee drinks. All these things make you feel charged and great for about an hour or two…and then you crash. Try a breakfast high in protein such as eggs and turkey bacon, or a protein shake. Eat a mid-morning or afternoon snack to help maintain your energy, and make sure that it’s a healthy high protein, high fiber snack such as pistachios or almonds.
  • Keep your immune system strong so you can fight off illness by taking a daily multi-vitamin. Women who are pre-menopausal should take one which also contains iron.
  • Get at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night as habitual sleep loss can lead to chronic drowsiness.
  • Get your 8 glasses of water a day. Not only does it keep you hydrated, it also keeps your body’s systems running smoothly and cuts down on wrinkling of the skin!
  • Try some deep breathing exercises to get rid of stress. Take in a deep slow breath for 2 seconds, then slowly breathe out for 4…repeat for one minute.
  • Walk at least 10 minutes but preferably 30 minutes a day. This will make a huge difference in your energy level, and if you do this when you actually are starting to feel tired, you’ll increase your energy level for up to 2 hours! Walking is also an excellent way to clear your head. 🙂

Making these simple adjustments to your daily lifestyle can be beneficial to your physical health in addition to your overall well-being. Have a healthy M-powering day!

(sources: Dr. Mehmet Oz and Dr. Michael Roizen; Oprah.com)

Take Care!

This is the week! The week to start taking care of YOU! Make this the last day you don’t get enough sleep, don’t drink enough water, eat all the wrong things, not get any exercise, and let any minor derailment of  your everyday routine send you into a stressed out blood pressure raising frenzy. This week it’s all about taking care of your mind, body, and spirit. We spend sooo much time focused on taking care of everything and everyone around else, now it’s time to take care of US ladies!

Losing weight, eating right, and working out is not about being skinny. If you’re happy with the skin you’re in…more power to you…the main objective besides looking and feeling great should be the health benefits. There are way too many 20, 30, and 40 year olds walking around out of shape,  suffering, and even dying from illness and diseases that can easily be prevented or well controlled just by making a few lifestyle changes. There is no reason for us young women to be walking around with uncontrolled diabetes, heart disease, and hypertension…especially when you have small children to raise.

Granted…most of us Black women didn’t grow up in health conscious environments and our eating and exercise habits have been with us our entire lives…it’s time to break the cycle. It’s time that we set better examples for our growing children so that are not plagued with the type of ill health that we all seem to be facing earlier and earlier in life.  So start right now! Make a plan and some health goals to work towards…and get the kids involved. Take them from in front of the television and video games and get them out in the fresh air for a family walk, shoot some hoops, kick a ball around…anything to get them and YOU moving. Try to make better decisions when it comes to what you put into your body and your children’s bodies…more fresh, organic, clean fruits and veggies…less sugar, salt, junk, and processed meats. I’m taking this journey with you so I’m wishing US goodluck and better health! Feel free to share any changes you plan to make, any ideas, or any comments at all.

It’s time to take control of our health.– Monique 🙂